You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
