My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
