Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
