Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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