This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
