We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
