she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
