I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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