the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
