took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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