You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
