Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
