our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
