I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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