My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
