I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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