i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
