so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
