I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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