I don't remember. Are we still dating?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize