it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
