Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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