Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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