I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
