We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
