I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
