I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
