Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize