I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
too bad you live with your parents still
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
