Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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