You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
