Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
