He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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