i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
