Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
