I could have mohawked her pubes.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
