batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
