Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
