i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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