She's JV to your varsity
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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