I CAN MOONWALK!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize