Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize