Apparently you make a good broom.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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