Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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