He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
