Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
