sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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