my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize