I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
