I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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