you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize