I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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