Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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