I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there was a trapeze. enough said
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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