So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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