Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
