so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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