how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
