My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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