Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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