Kiss
Puke
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
