he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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