I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize