that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
