Apparently you make a good broom.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
