Well douche your snatch and let's go!
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
