don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
