I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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