The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
