turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
