everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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