Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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